1. Don’t spray WD-40 on any braking surfaces.
-If you do, you won’t be able to stop in time.
2. Don’t pee on it…well cuz’ it’s just wrong…
3. Don’t brag about how much you spent on your bling bling bike.
-You never know if a thief is listening…
4. Don’t wear cycling jerseys if you’re fat….It just doesn’t look right.
5. Don’t talk on a cell phone while riding your bike. It’s just dumb…
6. Don’t wear your helmet the wrong way.
7. Don’t leave your bike unlocked.
-duh!
8. Don’t do any intimate things on it…
-Bikes get jealous. They’ll breakdown on you because you “cheated” on them.
9. Don’t be a jerk while riding your bike.
-Bikes are peaceful things. With you being a jerk while riding it will cause it to break down or get a flat just to humble you and bring you back to earth.
The last and most important thing to NOT do to your bike….
10. Don’t just leave it in your garage….RIDE IT!
-If you don’t ride, your bike will tell your body to rebel and make you fat!
